Friday, May 30, 2008

okay

i just went to the bank for my dad and some crazy asian man tried to talk to me when i walked by him the first time.  i thought about crossing the street so i could avoid him on my return, but, silly me, i thought he might get the hint.  

as i walk by the second time, he yells, with his think asian accent, "HOW OLD YOU?  YOU STILL IN SCHOOL HEY HEY."

ASIAN MAN, LEAVE THIS PLACE.

day 1

yesterday was my first day in seattle and LET ME TELL YOU it was eventful.  and by eventful, i mean i walked around the city for LITERALLY 8 hours, got sexually harassed by a hipster in the gay part of town, and was mocked by a bus tour guide as i was standing outside a bookstore ('there's a typical seattleite, smoking and wearing skinny jeans.  HAHAHAHAHAHA WEIRD.')

i had a meeting with my new boss, kelly, at my current place of employment, renewal by andersen.  i was given the title of 'event staffer' and was told that i would have to talk to people at 'festivals' and get them to set up appointments with sales reps so that they can con them into buying windows. i don't think i'm going to be very good at this for the following reasons: a) i don't know fuck about windows and i don't think i can learn since i honestly don't care b) i have to be nice? c) kelly is fat.

i also got the chance to meet my co-workers, which was just a time.  let me break dow the cast of characters that will impregnate my summer with fun:

BETH-a) she's hideous, and b)  SHE HAS A LISP.  and not that faggy, 'have a thsuper day, guys!' kind of lisp.  it's more like, 'hey guysh, can you shpare one shquare?' can't wait to see how she handles herself when she has to work the gay expo and some drunk tranny laughs in her face before she throws up on her.

RICHARD- he's our resident grandfather and is just generally more happy for people than i find necessary/tolerable.  for instance, i introduced myself to everyone and told them i had recently graduated from college.  everyone else: 'oh, cool.  good job.'  richard: 'wow.  wow good for you.  GOOD FOR YOU.'  APPLAUSE.  he literally applauded me.  thanks, dick. have another scotch.

LEA- our granny in the hizouse who LOVES pizza.  we were all sitting there eating like actual human beings, but when lea took her first bite it went a little something like this:  'OOOOHHHHHH.  OOOOHHHHHH that so GOOD.  YUM YUM YUMMY.  I LOVE THIS PIZZA  AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH SO GOOOOOD.  NUM NUM.'  crazy BITCH.

there are a few others but those are, so far, the real gems of the group.  i start my training today, so we'll see how that goes. 

GOOOOOOOO seattle!