like worms escaping their flooded holes, the crazies come out when it rains

my second and third attempts at bus dwelling have been pretty successful and i think i've slightly mastered the buses of seattle.  it DOES suck that it takes me at least 30 minutes to get anywhere, but the PEOPLE on the buses make it all worth while.

i was standing at a stop downtown yesterday, in the pouring POURING rain and i ran into several characters:

the back up dancer:  she's this crazy woman who is probably in her 40s but hasn't aged well so she looks about 54.  she was dancing with a portable CASSETTE player in the rain.  i'm talking britney in her prime dancing, except with more jiggling and a lot of stumbling and getting tripped up on her white keds.  her curly mop of hair was matted to her forehead.  i realize this was from the rain, but it wasn't raining i am CONFIDENT that it would have been from sweat.  

KOOLS man:  as i was watching the back up dancer twirl and hop, this tall, skinny black man smoking a KOOL walks up to me and says, 'you know why she doin' that? because she likes flavor.' then he peeks under my umbrella, looks me square in the face and says,' but you don't know nothin' about flavor anyway' and walks away.  vanilla is the only flavor i WANT to know, sir.

crazy fatty:  KOOLS man is gone and i'm still watching the tiny dancer when this other lady with a three-foot fupa comes up and starts yelling at all of us.  some insight she gave:

'this (the rain) is GOD calling, man.  this is god calling.'

'this is a cosmic emergency around the globe.  this is GOD calling, man.'

'they call this the pineapple express.  pineapple express and we're not in hawaii?  doesn't make sense to me, either.' (my dad later explained that the 'pineapple express' is some front that comes up from the south and brings rain.  i liked it better when i thought she was talking about husband or whatever.)

'this is jesus' work.  i never swore on him.  swore on my NUTS, but not on him.'

this went on for about 15 minutes until her bus came and off she went to spread the word to other ignorant fools.  i really think that if you took out the stuff about the pineapple express, she could have a christian pop hit.

then my bus came and of course the back up dancer lines up to get on and of course i stop and let her on before me and OF COURSE she whips out a picture of james marsden she ripped out of a magazine, kisses it and says, 'this my BROTHER!  HMMMMMMM MUM MUM MUM.'

i'd probably kill myself if it weren't for people like these, because i don't have any friends in this city and i don't have a job to occupy my time (except on the weekends).  i've mostly spent my days watching bravo and eating watermelon (i average one whole watermelon every 26 hours).  i use the bathroom a lot. 

xx