working

this weekend i worked at the fremont fair, which is apparently a pretty big deal here in seattle.  everyone gets drunk and watches a parade of naked people ride bikes.  it's kind of like depauw but with less nudity.  i didn't really get to see the bikers biking, but i did see one man who was completely naked but painted to look like captain planet, which was fun.  his belly covered his peen so it was kid-safe.

my booth was situated right next to the gypsies selling bubbles and right across from the beer garden, so i got to see a lot of mentally disabled people, hippies, and fat drunk topless chicks with batman tramp stamps stumbling around, trying to pop bubbles and steal my free dum-dums.  oh, that's how we draw people into our booth at events like this, with free suckers or mints or GOLF TEES?  i don't know.

i saw lots of people who shouldn't be parents but just kind of became them because they thought if they kept drinking and smoking that the fetus would just kind of go away but it didn't and now they have ugly kids and no friends.  beards.  beards were a big thing at the festival.  especially beards that came out of women's armpits.  70's-inspires tranny-messes.  SOCKS WITH SANDALS.  dykes.  LOTS of dykes and i'm sure not ONE of them could get to their partner's peesh without lifting up a fupa and digging through 30+ years of untamed wildness.  lots of older gays who liked to watch me read GQ.  and what's up with all the FUCKING asians here?  jesus.

on sunday i worked at the gay expo, which wasn't that exciting.  no one wanted to learn about windows.  also, we didn't have any candy.  there were a lot of fat bears wearing bikinis and jeweled crowns.  boys wearing speedos.  nothing too exciting.

i might get my hair cut today?  BEST SUMMER EVER.

xx